Breaking Thought Cycles

• Have you found yourself going over negative, destructive thoughts on a regular basis?
• Have you become erratic and irrational in any situation?
• Are you crying frequently and being forgetful of even the simplest of things?
• Has your appetite changed, either increased or decreased significantly?
• Have you become distant to your loved ones, withdrawn, almost silent?
• Have you got tightness in the chest, find it hard to breathe and feel a sense of panic in most situations?
• Are you caring less about how you care for yourself; how you look, how you dress, general self care and grooming?
• Have you had thoughts of leaving your life or current situation behind because you feel like a burden to everyone?
• Do you feel trapped or isolated and like no one, including your partner, understands you and what you are going through?
• Are you in pain; in your neck, headaches, upper and lower back and chest, basically from head to toe?

Not very long ago I said Yes to every question mentioned above. I know, I can hardly believe it myself because I am a strong, usually very positive, happy person, how could this happen to me? But it was triggered by several consecutive situations that saw me plummet into a deep depression. I became trapped in a vicious and very destructive Thought Cycle (also known as Thought Viruses or Thought Patterns.) At this time, I was a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend and an employee, but I wasn’t ME! I wasn’t the wife my husband married. I wasn’t the mother I wanted to be. I wasn’t the sister I had always been. I wasn’t a the daughter I should be. I wasn’t a good friend and I was not an efficient employee.

The triggers for such Thought Cycles can be many and varied, whilst I am not a physician or medical expert, having been in depression at least 5 times in my short life I have a good grasp on what happens. The catalyst of each one was different to the next; however they were mostly an emotional attachment of some kind, usually related to Fear and Loss. Having lost my mother at a very early age, learning certain behaviour from family, it is no wonder I have gone in an out of depression throughout my life. However, it is getting easier to get out of the Thought Cycles and I would like to share with you some tips that have helped me escape. While some are very obvious and commonsense, when you are in the Thought Cycles, nothing is clear or obvious, it’s a blur. It is like looking through a fog, there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

The last time I was in depression, I nearly left my young family and walked in front of a car while heavily medicated. This stopped me in my tracks and gave me a wake up call I needed to get sorted out. So, I implemented some creativity into my life, which was different to what I do for a living as a designer. I did it for ME, MYSELF & I! Not for anyone else, my husband, my daughter, my clients or friends… I did it for Me… what followed was truly amazing… I started to become well again! I came off the heavy medications, the pain started to dissipate and I started remembering things, I wasn’t so vague, I was in the room and with others rather than in my own world. Slowly, I came back using creativity.

*Please consult your medical practitioner before introducing any of the following tips to ensure they are right for you.*

Tips on Breaking Thought Cycles:

• Start writing a morning journal of you thoughts, ideas and ramblings  - do not let others read it and do not reread it. This can be a very emotional time for you, however use this time to purge the unnecessary and unwanted negative thoughts in your mind.
• Write down 5 qualities/traits you possess within yourself i.e. Passionate, determined etc.
• Write down 5 likes/interests/passions you have i.e. writing, photography etc.
• Write down 5 blockages you feel are restricting or adding to how you feel i.e. fear, guilt, limited finances, health issues etc.

Now that you have identified some positive qualities you already have, the interests that make you happy, and the blockages that need to be addressed and worked through to be changed, you can take firm action towards breaking the Thought Cycles.

Remember:

• You cannot change others, you can only change how you respond, react and receive what others do around you, to you etc.
• You are the master of your own destiny. You can change your Thought Cycles to improve and heal your life, as I have.
• Creativity is an outlet; a place to go where you mind can be at peace and in a neutral place for at least a short while. A form of meditation if you like. You do not have to be Michael Angelo to be creative. Remember we are all creative, it is the blockages in our busy lives that hold us back from seeing our potential.
• Baby Steps. We have all heard this one, relax and go with the flow. Once you are open to change, you can focus on finding the Gate to exit the Thought Cycle. It will take a conscious effort to implement the changes and do not expect others to do it for you.
• Look at one part at a time if you need to, don’t have too many expectations, be at peace with changes you are making and trust yourself.
• Remember to breathe. Breathing properly will help to heal you within.
• Regular activity such as a brief walk each day, as well as improved nutrition and improved sleep patterns will assist in this process of self care.
• Healthy mind, healthy body, happy mother, happy family!
• Don’t give up!

Next steps:

1. Now that you are more aware of yourself and what you want, start introducing some creativity, painting, drawing, photography, writing, dancing, singing etc. Creativity comes in so many forms it would be impossible to list them all, find something that works for you and go with it. Do not aim to be ‘perfect’ I wish I could delete that word from the dictionary! Perfect is impossible, aim for balance and allowing your mind to be shifted into a more positive place rather than the Thought Cycles that plague your daily life. If you can do it on a daily basis – Great! – If not try to introduce something weekly then increases it. It’s great Me Time.
2. Set yourself little assignments, like creating a scrapbooking album of your family for a gift. Or paint a picture to hang up on your child’s wall, or enter a photography competition with a photo you have taken.
3. Vision board, then next important step is to create a vision board of what you want in your life. Grab some magazines, cardboard, scissors and glue. Choose a theme like a holiday, new home, sea change, or happy family, then lay out the pictures before you glue them, then when you are happy, glue them down. Now hang it in a place where you will see it often. After only 6 months I have ticked off 5 items on my vision board, I’m sure you will too!
4. Set some short and long term goals for yourself or as a family as a whole. Reward yourself at the milestones with a little something like a massage or facial or lunch out with a friend.

What happens next?

After regular implementation of the above self care tips and creativity, you will start to notice your mood, appearance, and mindset and how others communicate with you, change progressively. If you do implement these small significant changes to your life you will notice a shift happening for the better. It may seem like commonsense, however, when you read through the questions at the beginning again, a person who has said Yes to each question has slipped away from commonsense, and the tips above are what I used to escape the destructive Thought Cycles causing me to be in depression and suffering post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and panic attacks. Whilst I am not completely free of some of these, I am in a better place because I used the tips above to help myself and be there for my family. The choice is yours and remember; when your children are young they are learning behaviours from YOU! Set the standard and behaviour for them as well.

Wishing you the very best health in mind and body, please let us know how you go with this and leave a comment on your thoughts on the tips provided, would love to hear from you!

“Never doubt what you can achieve when you have a passion, apply yourself and respect others.
Listen. Learn. Laugh. Love.”
~ Heather James

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