Post Natal Depression is NOT Hereditary
Posted in After, Baby, Before, Children, Communication, Creativity, During, Health, Marriage, Mindset, Parenting Skills, Pregnancy, Relationships, Self Care, Toddler on 15. Apr, 2011
- Heather James, Inspiring Mums® www.photoswith.me
I’ve had this blog rolling around my mind for some time now and I felt today was as good as any day to release it. Why? Well, today I am due to have our second baby, a boy, so I am on cloud nine right now as you can imagine and I wanted to share some insights of mine with you.
Ok, so if you are already familiar with me and what I do you will know my mother suffered severe Post Natal Depression (PND). It is also known in other parts of the world as: Antenatal, Perinatal and Postpartum Depression, we will refer to it here as PND.
PND lead to her suicide leaving 4 children under the age of 5, the youngest being 6 months old and a devoted, loving husband. Factors which contributed to her PND and loss of life included; the death of her first born son, a very traumatic breach birth where the baby had several health conditions of the heart and kidneys.
Further to this, and in between four full term healthy babies of natural birth, she suffered with seven miscarriages, one of which was 4 months gestation. My father shared with me his very emotional experience of catching the baby while my mother gave birth. Very sad, and a very distressing and traumatising experience for mum and dad.
Why did she lose so many babies?
It had to do with her blood group A- (About Rhesus Negative Blood – Source: www.BellyBelly.com.au), so basically, the mother’s blood can create antibodies to attack the positive blood containing a ‘foreign’ component, causing anemia or in a worst case scenario, death for a fetus. This means that any future pregnancies the mother has where the fetus is again rhesus positive, her antibodies may cross the placenta and attack the foetus’ blood cells.
My mother did not believe in contraception of any kind. Whilst originally not religious by any means, she didn’t want to control her body in that way. No doubt she would have felt like a failure of a woman and mother for not being able to bring these children to full term and living. Both my parents wanted twelve children and were setting up a wonderful life together. But the death of her first born stayed with her and clearly impacted on her hormonal and mental wellbeing. She was basically pregnant her entire adult life, what there was of it at least.
She was treated for Schizophrenia and Manic Depression, due to her severe hallucinations and ‘empty moments’ where she would just sit and stare into space for hours on end. They treated her with Lithium and electric shock therapy and she was also institutionalized several times. Back 30 odd years ago, they didn’t know enough about depression, let alone PND, so treating her would have been a great challenge to everyone.
Whilst my mother had a horrendous time as a mother suffering PND to the age of 32, my sister and I have not suffered with PND following the birth of our first born children. Now, I am not saying I wasn’t concerned or even very scared with my first child. I most certainly was! In fact, I was so focused on NOT ‘suffering it’ that it was almost an obsession not to ‘get it’. But it’s not something you contract, or hereditary if it was, we would have had it considering my mothers history, but I didn’t.
Yes, I will admit to having moments of anxiety, tears, frustration and tiredness, but that is what happens when you have a child. To me everything I experienced was what is experienced when you have a baby. It was not PND for me. Having said that, I have in fact suffered Depression five separate times in my life, completely separate and outside of having a child. So I do know what the form of depression can be like, while not the same as PND, I would have known if I had PND. Which is very interesting to me. I choose not to be on that Depression path again in anyway.
So, I am about to have my second child. I am really hoping to have this boy today, wish me luck! I do not know if I will suffer PND this time, of course, I hope I do not, but I know this for sure, I will ask for help. My mother didn’t get the right help from the right people and at a time where they didn’t know enough about PND. Today, there are support communities run by mums, there are support services run by very large not for profit and charitable organisations. So I know, if I do feel that I have PND, I do know where to go for help and that I am not afraid of asking for help. I will do this for me and my family and our future. But know that PND is hormonal imbalance and not hereditary, in my own opinion and experience.
Today, I am not ‘scared’ of having PND because, 1) It is not hereditary and 2) I know I can seek help when or if I need it which will help me through to recovery, no matter how long it takes. I want my children to have a mother, as I know the effects of not having one and the devastating impact it can have on one’s life. I do not want them to find me at the end of my life, affecting them for the rest of their life.
Where to get help today:
Australia:
BeyondBlue is a national, independent, not-for-profit organisation working to address issues associated with depression, anxiety and related disorders in Australia.
PANDA Post and Antenatal Depression Association Inc.
SANE National Mental Health Charity
Living is for Everyone LIFE Communications is a National Suicide Prevention Strategy project managed by Crisis Support Services on behalf of the Department of Health and Ageing.
www.livingisforeveryone.com.au
Crisis Support Services
Crisis Support Services Inc. (CSS) is Australia’s leading professional telephone counselling and training provider.
Black Dog Institute
The Black Dog Institute is an educational, research, clinical and community-oriented facility offering specialist expertise in mood disorders – a range of disorders that include depression and bipolar disorder (formerly called ‘manic depression’).
Support Communities:
Inspiring Mums www.inspiringmums.ning.com
Real Mums www.realmums.com.au
Nifty Mums Network www.niftymumsnetwork.blogspot.com
United Kingdom:
Oxleas NHS Foundation Trust www.oxleas.nhs.uk
Post Natal Illness for suffers and survivors www.pni.org.uk
USA:
Postpartum Support International is dedicated to helping women suffering from Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, including postpartum depression, the most common complication of childbirth.
www.postpartum.net
Perinatal Foundation The mission of the Perinatal Foundation is to secure and provide resources to improve the health of babies, mothers and families from preconception to early childhood.
www.perinatalweb.org
If you are on your mother journey and need help, don’t be ashamed, know that you are NOT alone, and you are not to blame, know that you can get help and you can recover. We are here for you.
Please let us know that you have sought the help you need by commenting below and how you are going we would love to hear from you.
Wishing you the best of luck on your motherhood journey.
Heather James, Founder Inspiring Mums®
Wow Heather! What an amazing thing you’ve done putting together Inspiring Mums and taking care of yourself. My heart just goes out to your mom and all of you for what you must have all gone through.
I suffered from huge postpartum depression after my second child was born. That is an awful place to be. But, like you I think we go through what we do for a reason. I’ve built my website and my programs to help other mom’s who are struggling with emotional pain and need support and techniques that are simple and really help.
I believe that after you go through things like this, you develop a deep compassion and empathy for other people and their pain. That’s a good place to be.
No wonder you are such an amazing human being Heather! Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best with this new little one and your delivery.